MMSM: The Best or the Worst

Shannon is starting up her blog carnival again, Makes Me Smile Mondays. For the first month or so she's choosing a quote from a book, movie, or television show as the theme for everyone to write about. Read her post and then link up and join in the fun.



This week Shannon chose Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of
incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was
the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us,
we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going
direct the other way . . .

I was all set to write about how raising children is the best and worst time of your life. And it is of course, but when I titled this post I decided to go a slightly different route.

Often your life and self-concept are based largely on perspective. Whether you are the best or the worst depends on who you compare yourself too.

Shannon wrote a post last week that garnered a lot of comments about motherhood and how good of a mom everyone thought they were. And of course everyone says they are the worst mom, because you can't brag and say you're the best mom - and it's a lot funnier to write or talk about all the things you do wrong instead of the things you do right. In my comment I said:

Sometimes I think commiserating with other moms about how terrible we are is not
the best thing, I could be actually doing something to be better rather than
bragging about how I suck. Other times I think I just need a break and I’m just
trying to be funny by talking about how crazy my life is. Othertimes I hear
about really bad family situations and am so grateful for my life and my small
problems. It’s all in how you look at it.

Aaron and I have talked a lot about this lately too. It's so easy to be unhappy with your situation when you compare yourself to people who have more, or are better than you in some way. I can be unhappy with my blog because I am not as funny as June, or as clever as Jane, or as popular as Ree. And I can be unhappy with my house because it isn't as big or fancy or clean as others. And I can be unhappy with my husband because he's not a saint like this guy I read about. But then I remember about all the people with no blogs, or no houses, or no husbands - or worse still, bad husbands. And I know I'm so much better off than all those people. I mean, come on - no blog! What could be worse?

Seriously though - when I think of it that way I remember how really lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband who loves me. He is a great father and supports us very comfortably. We have three beautiful boys who are healthy and happy. We have a house and two cars, and all the things that make life comfortable and good. And most importantly, we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and who has provided a plan for us to be happy. The Lord has given us prophets, scriptures, temples, and many other things to help and guide us.

I guess what it comes down to is not the comparison of ourselves to others, but the comparison of ourselves to what the Lord knows we can be. I shouldn't be unhappy because I am not as good as others, but neither should I be happy just because I am better than someone else. I only have to be the best I can - which unfortunately is a long way from where I am now. And I won't make progress by comparing myself to the best or the worst - just by pushing myself to improve. Even if it involves getting off the computer.